you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I came so hard my ears popped.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
