but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
