well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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