Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
