What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
