That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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