I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.