pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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