I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize