I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
