I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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