So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
