I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
