Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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