me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize