just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
