So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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