i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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