You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
