tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
