THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
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I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
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Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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