It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
