you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
