I wish they made helmets for livers.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
