Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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