so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
