Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize