...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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