I love black thongs
I just made out with a guy for $7.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize
