Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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