I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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