i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
