there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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