i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize