U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
