I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize