I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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