Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
