I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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