im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just sent this text using only my big toe
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize