I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
