I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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