I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
