he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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