So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize