This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
