1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
