I puked a lego.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
