let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
