Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
