make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
