So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
