her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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