I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
