He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize