I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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