Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
