I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize