piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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