I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
