oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
